Hilarious chatroom sessions

May 10, 2011

users have been number coded
———————-

1> could someone please post the lyrics to the Star Trek theme?

2> Sure, I’ll give it a try:
Woo WOOOOOOOO Woo Woo Woo Woo Woo
Woo Woo WOOOOOOOOO Woo Woo Woo Woo Woo
Woo, Woo Woo Woo Woo Woo Woo Woo
WOOOOOOOO Woo Woo Woo
Woo Woo Woo Woo Woo WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

2>Sorry to be a smart-ass, but I just couldn’t help myself. I know that
there are actualy lyrics, but I don’t know them. Anyway I hope this
helped.
————
1> I know someone who wants to get “beef with broccoli” tattoed in chinese characters, to see if anyone really reads the stuff.

2>I have a friend who has “Kung Pao chicken, extra spicy, no vegetables” in
Chinese tattooed on his leg. He orders his food by laying his leg up on
the counter.
————
1>He didn’t really mean fro his disciples to actually eat him after he died.

2>Maybe they were tired of bread and fish, bread and fish. Every night it’s bread and fish… Christ dies. They come back three days later and the body’s gone.
————
1>Great idea for a new thread. What are some appropriate uses of

2>supernatural power? I myself would use the power to pop the tires of cars that do bone-headed traffic moves, like cut me off.

3>I worked with a graduate student once who said he would use supernatural power to get his thesis advisor to approve his thesis.

3>And of course there’s winning the lotto and helping humankind (like
Superman).

4>I’ve always wanted telekinesis. Nothing more, nothing less. With it,
I could move myself around, pick up hot objects, clean things out of
the kitchen sink drain, lift skirts, save gas, warm myself in the winter,
cool myself in the summer, maintain fusion reactions, change the
channel without a remote, type with my arms folded, stop bullets,
kill vermin, and, most importantly, induce a female orgasm at a
distance.
————-
1>My Sister’s kid said his first word today. Cthulhu.
Those hours of training really paid off. She wants to kill me now.
Oh, and I’ve also taught him how to untie people’s shoes while he’s playing
at their feet.

1>I love being an uncle.
————–
1>Hi, I have a short penis. I want to compensate on it’s shortness, by doing
something malicious to someone who did nothing to me! But I’m just a little
lamer! Help! Someone else with a short penis, help me, why make it bigger, if
we can just compensate for it!

2>I’m sorry to hear about your tender situation. Unfortunately, this ailment is
suffered by a vast majority of the lamer type people on IRC. The only way
for you to compensate for your inadequacies is to nuke other people. You
can see instructions for this (posted by me) in the related string “anyone have
a good nuke?” in this newsgroup. You may also want to make sure that your
computer is prepared for nuking by putting some high-powered magnets
into your disk drives. Make sure you open up the case and pass them
around the entire hard drive as well. The magnets will pick up any erroneous
magnetism clinging to various parts of your computer, making your abuse
more effective (less resistance for the packets leaving your computer). In
addition, turn on your computer and check the connections of all your cards,
etc. While you’re at it, rotate your CPU 1/4 turn — keep track of what
direction you turn it so that you can keep even wear on it in the future
(much like rotating your tires).

2>I hope this helps!
———————-
1>Veni Vidi Vino, I came, I saw, I had a glass of wine

2>Veni Vidi Visa, I came, I saw, I bought.

1>Veni Vidi Velcro, I came, I saw, I stuck around.

3>Veni Vidi Virgo, I came, I saw, I came again.

4>Veni Vidi Viagra, I came I saw I came, I came, I came, I came, I came, Oh
god not again…
————————-
1>Hello,

1> I have a problem, I cannot chat in Java chats because I cannot type
in the fields. I use Windows 98 1702 beta with IE. Help me, please. What is
wrong?

2>The software incorporates a heuristic technique to determine if you are
ready to use the internet and it appears that in your case it has determined
against you. I’m sorry.
—————————–
1>Love Story
1>==========
1>”I love you”.
1>”I love you too”.
1>”Aaaaargghhh” .
1>The End.

2> Loved it … when’s the sequel out?

1>”Kiss”
1>”Kiss”
1>”Waaaaaahhhhh”

3> Another instance of the sequel being better than the original.

4>Well I thought it was in extremely poor taste, and the original wasn’t
much better. The writers/producers seems to have pandered to the
lowest of the low. No doubt to obtain the kind of notoriety, and
consequently sales, that this type of filth seems to generate in what
passes for society today. Never have I read such sordid material
before, and to have it thrust at me in a public forum such as this,
without so much as a warning or X certificate, goes beyond the
bounds of common decency. Wailing babies, without a mention of
waves carressing the seashore, trains thrusting thro’ tunnels, or good
old holy matrimony, is what has brought our society to the position
in which it finds itself today. It shouldn’t be allowed.

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