I can’t believe that these are actual product instructions

May 11, 2011

On Sears hair dryer:
“Do not use while sleeping.”

On a bag of Fritos:
“You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.”

On a bar of Dial soap:
“Directions: Use like regular soap.”

On a Swann frozen dinner:
“Serving suggestion: Defrost.”

On a hotel-provided shower cap in a box:
“Fits one head.”

On Tesco’s Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of the box):
“Do not turn upside down.”

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
“Product will be hot after heating.”

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
“Do not iron clothes on body.”

On Boot’s Children’s cough medicine:
“Do not drive car or operate machinery.”

On Nytol sleep aid:
“Warning: May cause drowsiness.”

On a Korean kitchen knife:
“Warning: Keep out of children.”

On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights:
“For indoor or outdoor use only.”

On a Japanese food processor:
“Not to be used for the other use.”

On Sainsbury’s peanuts:
“Warning: Contains nuts.”

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
“Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts.”

On a Swedish chainsaw:
“Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.”

On a child’s Superman costume:
“Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.”


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